in 2006, first heard of Diane McTurk and the giant river otters
at Karanambu
longed to meet them
Sunday morn at Caiman House
the toshao stops by
he’s going there
i invite myself along
only my third ride ever
on the back of a motorbike
scary and exhilarating to fly across savannah
on eroded rocky uneven red road
i try to move with bike
while thinking about risk
here
compared to in Canada
where i would always wear a helmet
how much should i adapt to way things are here?
question for a bike ride or what i eat or what i say…
for now, just grip tighter
but love wind whipping hair, shrub whipping bare calves, ducking under lianas,
beautiful view of green & tawny gold textures and PEI red and eyes streaming even behind glasses
its so wonderful to be alive and see & feel this
life can be taken at any moment,
so enjoy
balance risk & safety
at Karanmbu
watch giant river otters
blinded Buddy down at river plays with fish
gives wet sandy sniff & hug
smooth silky soft fur
no trace of fish
just smells like pure river
though blind, he hops up stairs
and follows the volunteers back to the Otter House
where the two loud babies
yell for fish
Karanambu with rum punch & mangoes & hammocks & good company
no one leaves on time
time slips by
lovely & leisurely
the quick morning visit
extends to lunch
expat returning Guyanese asks about my proposed research
cautious, then we realize we agree:
no parachuting-in research
and lets build local capacity
to inquire & share learning
creatively
conversation turns to mining,
the new legislation will prevent small & medium sized gold mining operations
on rivers
larger companies tend to do less damage
but what of livelihoods of miners?
i remark on violence it takes
to wrench gold out of the land
the big machines and mercury poison
harm done to satisfy a want, not a need
“go meet the miners”
judge lest ye be judged
but again, we all agree more than disagree: mining is bad,
but need alternative livelihoods
then Ash calls me on the gold ladybug necklace i wear
it hurts too much to explain properly
this defensible hypocrisy
that when I arrived for Edna’s funeral
August 2009
the first thing when i came into her daughter’s living room
i saw she was wearing Edna’s favourite necklace
the gold ladybug
she asked her daughter
to take it and put it around my neck
i haven’t taken it off since.
it hurts & comforts me.
awkward to explain why i wear something i didn’t choose
am i a hypocrite?
i wonder as i cling to the motorbike
back to Yupukari over red road and green savannah textures
tears not only from whipping wind.